Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I just spent part of this morning reading about Lebanon and the bombings, particularly that a U.N. posting was hit. I feel so strange inside about the state of the world, and my own complacency, and the truly desperate nature of the situation. Last night while playing music, I asked the question to my friends of whether or not there were any truly great, admirable, beautiful political leaders left, in the vein of MLK or Ghandi. Erin pointed out how institutionalized everything is. Is there room for bravery, or innovation, or creativity? Thinking outside the lines?

I am not interested in being part of a radical punk ghetto that is not interfacing and responding diligently to the needs of its community. I am not interested in a subculture that trumpets laziness and privilege exploitation and lack of intellectual rigor. I am interested in humility, in learning lessons, in doing difficult shit. And this year, I am also interested and trying like hell to be a healthy, loving person to myself. In years past, in work I have tried to do, I have lost that in the fray.

Here's to being emotionally healthy and not celebrating our fucked uped-ness. We need to be wide awake and cogent in the world. There is too much horrible shit not to. I can't anesthetize any more - not now.


Blogger jeff. said...

can dig... i find myself often torn between the notions that everything is either ineffectual by virtue of having no obvious immediate effects or institutionalized and thus ineffectual.

but i try to remind myself that... well, like the sudden often beautiful upheavals a few years ago. those were possible because the 90s were filled with people doing daily grunt work that often seemed pointless and silly... but then turned out to be the backbone of something amazing. not that it didn't have problems, but we can learn from those problems... so its never a waste.

i also try to remember that a lot of what happened then was helped and fortified by the diy punk upsurge in the 90s. things like the more the music festival (when it really was more than music, and had discussion groups, workshops, etc. and was also diy), and other gatherings like it, went a long way in helping to formulate and cement a lot of the work that was going on. the current corporitization of punk has severely weakened this. the number one problem of corporitization (in this context at least) is the laziness it inspires, methinks. but we don't have to let it happen.


9:08 AM  

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